Let’s talk fashion – specifically, music festival fashions. Now, I used to wear stuff in high school like giant, baggy, tie-dyed MC Hammer-esque pants, red Reeboks, and hot pink headbands -- so obviously, I’m no fashion expert. But every time I come to Austin for SxSW, I notice various trends that simply baffle me.
For example, why do so many guys wear girls’ jeans? I have heard that this is part of the “emo” fashion trend -- “emo” being a style of music where guys basically scream and whine over spiraling, repetitive guitar riffs about how some girl screwed them over. It’s a very un-macho genre of music. So I guess wearing girls’ jeans would fit with that whole shtick, but seriously, guys – your uh, “junk” doesn’t look very good crammed into denim so tight it looks painted on. How on Earth are you supposed to “adjust” yourselves? And your butts virtually disappear.
Here is an example of the “emo jean” thing:
I know the photo looks small, but it’s actually to scale (just kidding).
The afro was a big trend last year, and has made a kinky return this year. Everywhere I look, there are guys who look like a Chia pet exploded on top of their heads. The “band guy” look here still seems to be: big afro, scruffy stubble, and glasses. I blame trendsetter Jack Osbourne:
By the way, Jack Osbourne has lost a ton of weight and cut his hair since the above photo was taken. He looks awesome. So next year, I expect the ‘fro boys to look more like Justin Timberlake – I mean, Jack Osbourne:
The women’s fashion rage seems to be short skirts with knee-high, heeled boots. I hate this look only because I cannot pull it off without twisting my ankle, falling in a ditch, and exposing my uh, intimate apparel. I don’t do heels at all, unlike Jody, who’s been wearing them pretty much the whole time we’ve been here together (albeit without the short skirts – it’s freakin’ windy here at night, and lots of people are lying in the streets bemoaning how much they drank by Saturday night. They’re likely to look up from the gutter and see more than stars).
One thing I did see today that totally rocked my world was this guy with killer dreads, who was hanging around the Austin Convention Center:
Yes, they are real, and they actually hang down to his ankles. If Crystal Gayle ever dreadlocked her hair, it would prolly look something like this dude’s ‘do.
I’m interested to see what trends people are sporting at SxSW next year. By then, I should have my dreadlocked ‘fro, emo jeans, and knee-high boots all ready to go. I gotta stay a step behind, you know. Now I gotta go dig my tie-dyed parachute pants out of my luggage.